


Pale Blue Glimpses

by SamehWrites



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Bruises, Confrontation, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Middle school!Nathan Prescott, Romance, argument
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 00:24:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19188196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamehWrites/pseuds/SamehWrites
Summary: Nathan and Sophia used to be best friends, but high school came around and, initiated by Nathan, their relationship died down, leaving them to change apart from each other. One night, Sophia receives a message from Nathan that can change everything if she is to accept his offer. Will she take the chance to confront him and her feelings? Or is it the time to finally move on?





	Pale Blue Glimpses

Sophia could sense Victoria’s predatory look even from across the classroom, right after stepping inside. Chase was chatting with Nathan, leaning against one of the desks but stopped herself mid-sentence, seeing the girl approach them.

“Oh, look, it’s the dancing queen, I’m quaking. The fuck you want, Spandex?”

Sophie rolled her eyes and ignored the vile comment, only gripping onto the strip of her bag a little tighter.

“I need to talk to Nathan,” she said firmly, looking at him, trying her best to avoid Victoria’s glare.

“Tough shit. Can’t you see I’m talking to him? If you have something to say, do so now or stay silent forever.”

“Nate?” Sophia didn’t move her gaze off the boy, who was remaining silent this entire conversation, his arms crossed and his gaze somewhere on the floor. Hearing a call of his name made him finally raise his head and look at Sophia’s face. She stared at him with hope, her eyes begging him to be the better person and step outside. _Just for a moment._

“What is it, Hughes,” he said, his voice small, as he immediately looked away. Sophia frowned. Is that how it was? Last name basis?

“Okay. I just wanted to say—I got accepted.” She reached into her back pocket and fetched a white envelope with a swan print on it. “To Somerset. I leave at the end of the month.”

Just as Sophia saw Nathan’s face change, she looked down at the charms hanging from her bag, biting on her lower lip. Making the last effort, she looked up, seeing Nathan’s pained expression he was trying to disguise with indifference.

“Oh my god, Hughes,” Victoria was first to break the silence, rolling her eyes, “what the fuck ever, no one cares, you can scram to whatever shithole you got accepted into, just stop wasting any more of my time.”

“Bye, Nathan,” said Sophia quietly, making wobbly steps back and leaving the classroom. She heard him call out her name, but his voice was quickly cut off by the shutting door. She didn’t want to listen to him anymore. To hear him. What was supposed to be a tough decision turned into a binary question with an obvious answer. She would leave the abomination that was Arcadia Bay. Nothing was holding her back. Not anymore.

***

Sophia met Nathan for the first time near the Blackwell fountain. Right at it, to be specific. Not that she hasn’t seen him before, but before the fountain, they never really talked to each other. He was sitting on its edge, looking at his severely scratched palm. She was about to leave school when she heard him whimper quietly. He was shivering, his posture shrunken and small. Sophia immediately stopped and made a 180 turn and quickly approached Nathan.

“Fucking jocks,” she assumed, putting her bag down and sitting next to him. By the way he shrugged his shoulders Sophia found herself to be correct. She softly reached for his palm and tried to take a closer look, but Nathan yanked his hand out and pressed it to his chest protectively.

“I don’t need your help,” he hissed, tensing up.

“You don’t need an infection either.” Sophia reached into her bag and took out bandages and rubbing alcohol. “Please, may I?”

He watched her for a few seconds, doubt and hurt in his eyes. His wounded hand was clenched into a fist, probably hurting him even more, but his self-preserving instincts took control over his body, making him try and move away from Sophia as much as possible. She had to be patient: he was like a wounded animal, aggressive out fear to be hurt again.

“Please,” she repeated.

Slowly, but with caution, Nathan unclenched his fist, revealing his palm, covered in blood and scratches. Sophia nodded in gratitude and opened the alcohol bottle.

“This will burn,” she warned him, holding his hand softly by the wrist. “What did they do?” As she asked him the question, she spilled some of the liquid onto the grazes.

“They—ah,” Nathan winced, his arm stiffening again, “they pushed me.”

“Assholes,” Sophia whispered, beginning to wrap his hand in bandages. Poor guy. The amount of pressure he was under was a lot to handle already, but the bullying too? She couldn’t imagine how Nathan felt every day, going to Blackwell, constantly being a target, never safe. “Why?”

“Cause I’m Nathan Prescott?”

Sophia looked up in distress, examining Nathan, who was looking down at his palm, hiding his gaze. She bit her lips, desperately wanting to say something but not finding the right words to express her feelings. She didn’t want to pity him. Nathan hated being in this situation already, showing weakness and getting help, Sophia didn’t want to make him feel worse. That way, the conversation died down, and the girl finished her treatment in silence. When she was done, she gently patted the boy’s palm, wrapping the excessive bandages back into a roll.

“You’re good. Don’t mention it,” she smirked.

“Why do you carry a first aid kit anyway?”

“It’s for my feet,” she explained. Seeing Nathan’s confused expression, her smile grew in size. “I do ballet. There’s always a scratch to treat.”

“I didn’t know there were ballet classes in Blackwell.”

“There aren’t. I’m doing private lessons, with my mom. After class.”

“Aren’t you late then?”

Sophia gasped and looked at her phone screen.

“Fuck, I gotta run!”

She zipped her bag shut and jumped up, getting back onto her way to the exit gate. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“You don’t have to,” he said, lowering his gaze.

“I want to,” she said determinedly. “Besides, I’ll need to check how your hand is healing. And Nathan?”

The sound of his name made the boy raise his head again and look at Sophia with uncertainty.

“There’s nothing wrong in being you.”

He sighed through his nose, pursing the corners of his lips not in a smile, but in an appreciative motion.

“Thank you,” he raised his bandaged hand lightly, “uh—”

“Sophia. Sophia Hughes.”

“Thank you, Sophia.”

She smiled brightly, showing off her tooth gap. “Call me Soph.”

***

Sophia stormed into her dorm room, smashing the door behind her. Her breath was heavy and unsteady, she was trying to calm herself, but every attempt only stimulated her inner turmoil. She threw her bag on the floor and looked at the now creased envelope she was clutching on her way from the school building. Glancing over the swan print, Sophia rolled her eyes and tossed onto her bed. Taking her shoes off, she then joined the envelope, propping her head on the pillow, which felt so heavy she thought she would never be able to lift it again. She told herself in the morning, it was a bad idea. Sophia wasn’t even sure now why she argued with her mom to postpone her departure. _I need to say goodbye to my friends_. Right. As if she had any. She could’ve left tomorrow and be done with this shitty school. This shitty town that brought her nothing but heartbreak. Her mom was right, you shouldn’t make friends. If you open up to somebody, you just give them a chance to manipulate and abuse you when they need it. When they’re done with you.

Sophia’s eyes shifted to her wall, decorated with pictures and photographs. In the center, there was a photo of them; she told him not to come to her performance, said she would do poorly and didn’t want him to see her fail. He came anyway and brought flowers. They were standing close to each other: Sophia’s hand was holding out her phone to capture both their faces. _You’re a treasure, Nathan Prescott_. She was so stupid. She should’ve gotten rid of this photo ages ago. But she didn’t. Why? Because she hasn’t moved on. Because every day she woke up and hoped for things to return to how they were. Every time she walked past Nathan, she looked at him, hoping for him to look back. But even when he did, it was never what she wanted it to be. There was no warmth in his gaze, only cold and regret.

Fucking sentiments.

Sophia reached for the photo and ripped it off the wall. She stared at it closely, contemplating. Then, crumpling it, she threw it into the trash bin across the room and rolled over in the bed, resting her head against the wall. There. No big deal. It’s just a photo. She’s moved on, it’s about time.

It’s just a photo.

It’s just a photo.

“Fuck,” Sophia mumbled getting up and rushing to the bin, getting the wrinkled picture out and smoothing it out. “You’re such a little bitch. What would your mother say?”

She knew exactly what. That she was weak, vulnerable. And weakness meant failure. Winners don’t hold on to old photographs. Winners aren’t petty.

She lied back on the bed and covered her face with her hands. It’s incredible how tired can you become from just being anxious. And about what? Stuff that doesn’t matter anymore. That shouldn’t matter. Sophia looked at the photo for the last time before her eyelids closed shut. She wasn’t sure sleeping would solve her problems, but at least it would stop her from thinking about them.

***

When Nathan told her he would be in the school’s production of the Tempest, Sophia was beyond excited. She kept jumping around him, all bubbly and giddy, saying over and over how proud she was, and how great he would do, and how she wanted to join the production too somehow now that Nathan was in it. And she did, as a makeup artist. She couldn’t contain herself. Before, she didn’t participate in school life much, not having friends to do it with, or the time to spend. Her mom used every free moment she had to get her training. So now, being a part of a performance, doing it together with Nathan filled Sophia with joy.

On the performance’s night, Sophia told Nathan to come for makeup first, since his face required the most effort.

“Don’t move,” she muttered, gently brushing over the boy’s face with paint.

“I’m not,” he mumbled, looking at his knees.

“Just did,” she giggled softly. Nathan huffed but remained silent. His breath was warm on her skin every time she moved her hand past his nose. He was nervous before the performance, as Sophia assumed.

“There,” the girl said, setting the brush aside. “Look at me.”

She raised her hands and lightly caressed Nathan’s face with her fingers, setting his face straight. Moving closer, she looked him over, checking for missed spots. Nathan’s breath hitched and he quickly looked away. His cheeks were burning, and he was forever grateful for makeup covering it. Not finding any significant mistakes, Sophia moved back, grinning.

“Look-look,” she jumped in her chair enthusiastically. Nathan turned his torso to the mirror and smiled widely, seeing the final look.

“Soph, this is amazing. Where did you learn to do all that?”

“My mom made sure I learned to do my own makeup for performances. _To hide those hideous freckles of yours_ ,” she mimicked her mother, shaking her head side to side, her voice bitter.

“Your freckles are beautiful,” he uttered. Sophia’s eyes widened. She blinked rapidly, moving a strand of hair behind her ear awkwardly. Nathan, realizing what he just said, felt his cheeks growing hotter. “I—I mean—”

“Thanks, Dimples,” the girl suddenly said, smiling warmly. “It means a lot.”

Deciding against saying anything possibly embarrassing again, Nathan just smiled shyly, fiddling with his fingers.

After that, Sophia was occupied for quite some time, doing the rest of the cast’s makeup. Nathan wasn’t there, so after being finished, she was determined to find him before the show and help him with his lines. Although he was trying to play it cool, Sophia knew Nathan was extremely anxious, and she didn’t want him to be alone with his thoughts at a time like this.

Looking for him, she heard a low voice coming from around a corner. Coming closer, she saw Mr. Prescott hanging over Nathan while hissing in his ear.

“Keep your voice down!”

Air got significantly thicker, and Sophia felt her mouth going dry. Nathan looked even smaller, his dad’s figure was almost pressing him into the ground, making his shoulders shrink. The boy’s gaze was glued to his shoes, he felt cornered and helpless. She couldn’t let this continue. Sophia knew enough about Sean Prescott to see just how much harm was he causing Nathan every day and right now.

“Nate,” she called loudly, making sure to interrupt Mr. Prescott’s speech, “come, I need to fix your makeup.”

She hurriedly approached him and grabbed his hand, dragging him away.

“We’re in the middle of something,” said Mr. Prescott lowly. Sophia stopped and turned back to face him, still squeezing Nathan’s hand in hers. Her narrowed, cold eyes pierced Mr. Prescott’s face.

“The show is about to begin. I have to make sure everyone is looking their best. You are free to visit Nathan in the dressing room and wish him good luck before the show.”

Not waiting for an answer, Sophia turned on her heels and pulled Nathan away, quickly walking towards the tent she came from. Only after entering did the she let go of his hand, leaving him standing in the middle of the dressing room. Sophia walked to the makeup table, grabbed a random brush, and started toying with it. Nathan watched her for a moment, not knowing what to do with himself. His hand went to the back of his neck awkwardly, as he thought of something to say.

“Hey—”

“He’s such an asshole,” she interrupted him, throwing the brush back, “I—Sorry, but—what he’s doing—It’s not okay!” Sophia was rambling, firing herself up the more she thought about what happened. Her hands fell to her sides and clenched into fists. A small smile spread across Nathan’s face.

“I should be the frustrated one, you know.”

Sophia turned around and Nathan’s eyes widened in surprise. Tears were sparkling in her eyes. The expression on her face was so pained, so frustrated as if she was the one to receive the talk from Mr. Prescott. She ached for him. She gave a fuck. Lots of them, actually. Hell, she just dragged him away from his dad. Nathan couldn’t process that. Never in his life did someone care enough about him. Or at all. People were closing their eyes on what was going on in the Prescott family. What was going on with him. They tried to detach themselves, looking away, pretending not to see anything they didn’t want to be a part of. But she didn’t.

Nathan slowly approached her and cautiously took her hand in his, afraid of her reaction but still wanting to try. To his relief, she squeezed it back.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, just above a whisper, “it means a lot. But—don’t cry. Please. Especially because of him.”

“It’s not him, it’s you,” she said, sniffing.

“Well, that doesn’t make it better at all.”

Sophia chuckled, a bitter-sweet smile slowly spreading across her face. She sighed, quickly looking up and blinking rapidly to get rid of the tears.

“Okay, the performance is about to begin, and I’m standing here crying in front of you. Not exactly a good pep talk.”

“They’re going to laugh at me either way.” Nathan averted his gaze and the tension started taking over his body again. Sophia furiously shook her head.

“What? No! No-no-no, Nathan, I’ve seen the rehearsals, your acting is amazing, you’ll kill it!”

“They hate me, Soph. It doesn’t matter what I do or how I do it.”

“Fuck ‘em,” she said, throwing her hand to the side. “They’re just a bunch of jackasses who prey on others. Forget about them. Nathan,” Sophia took both of his hands into hers, “you love theatre. So why not do what you love?”

He looked at her, contemplating, still uncertain, yet grateful for her presence. She tilted her head, looking at him with begging eyes.

“Please, Nate. For me?”

He sighed and nodded.

“For you.”

Sophia squealed and, standing on her tiptoes, pecked Nathan’s cheek, leaving a burning mark. Nathan reflexively covered the kissed spot with his palm, feeling pleasant warmth spreading throughout his body.

“I’ll go find a seat. Break a leg, Dimples.”

***

Sophia woke up to a new message notification. She grumbled, slowly turning over to face the room. The sun has set, she could barely tell the furniture apart in the dark. A sigh left her lips.

“Great, here’s to a sleepless night.”

She brought the phone closer to read the message. The second her eyes went over the screen she jerked up, sitting straight, her body immediately tensing up.

 

 **Dimples  
**meet me at the pool

 

Time seemed to freeze as Sophia sat there, propping herself on her hand, staring at the dialogue that remained dead for months and months until a minute ago. She was blinking rapidly, trying to make sure she was awake. Being the only light source in the room, the phone screen highlighted her face: furrowed brows, lips pressed into a thin line, narrowed eyes that went back and forth over the five words that looked so simple yet were so hard to comprehend. Her heart was pounding as she read the message over and over, trying to see something through the letters. The phone buzzed again, and Sophia jumped, almost dropping it.

 

 **Dimples  
**we need to talk

 

_What?_

“Are you fucking serious,” she hissed, squeezing the phone harder. Gradually, worry in her chest started turning into anger as she got off the bed, walking to the center of the room and stopping there, eyes not leaving the screen. Oh, now he wants to talk? The moment she decided to screw it he wants to settle things? No thank you. Sophia started typing viciously, one sentence after another, asking what he was thinking she was going to say, did he really think this would work, how dare he do this to her after ignoring her for months in school corridors. Finishing up, Sophia read her answer over. Letting a sigh of frustration, she highlighted the entire thing and erased it.

“Fuck me,” she said under her breath, letting her hands helplessly fall to the sides. Reaching the nightstand, she flipped the lights on and looked over her room, not knowing what to do with herself. Honestly, what was she supposed to do? There was that chance to get clarification, to confront him, to demand answers for his actions. But the timing… she spent so much time forcing herself to move on, to stop caring about Nathan, about their relationship or what was left of it. Choosing to look back meant to waste all her efforts to move past the pain and to jump right back in.

Sophie walked to the wardrobe mirror, looking at her reflection, questioning herself. No matter how much she wanted to shift the responsibility on somebody, there was no one else but her and herself in this room. Her figure, emaciated, bony even through the clothes, stood in the mirror frame downcast, small. Her eyes, too tired for her liking, stared back returning all the questions where they came from. In the midnight silence of the dorm, a decision was to be made; and there was only one person capable.

***

Nathan knew where to find Sophia without her answering to his texts. As the summer approached, she gradually grew more and more frustrated, detaching from him and leaving school earlier each day. In the mornings, she looked exhausted, slowly walking from classroom to classroom, sometimes limping, holding onto her bag with both hands. She was smiling less and seemed constantly distracted.

Nathan knew parental abuse when he saw one. Sophia was strong, way stronger than him. He was sure she kept most of her pains to herself, swallowing them without sharing. But now and then even she vented to him about her mother, and it was enough for Nathan to know that this woman was nothing good for her daughter. Now, as he was walking towards the gym, he figured her feelings were about to spill over the edge. It broke his heart to know what she was going through but he understood it better than anyone else.

He found her sitting on the floor, defeated, hunching her back over her feet. She was still wearing her ballet attire, which meant she’s been training extra hours. Her legs were covered in bruises. Her mother was really out there to crush her in every possible way.

“Hey,” he called quietly, slowly entering the room.

“Go away, Nathan,” her response was sharp, yet he could hear the trembling in her voice she tried to mask by harshness.

“You know I won’t.”

Nathan closed the door behind him and slowly approached Sophia. Noticing his figure above her, she quickly got up and started walking to her bag.

“Then I will.”

“Sophia,” he called her loudly, making her stop in her tracks. He saw her fists clenching as she drew her shoulders in. “Talk to me.”

Nathan knew she’d hate this. Hell, he hated this phrase even more than Sophia did, but for this exact reason did he use it on her. Because he knew she would resonate with it. With him.

“She keeps calling me worthless. Every. Day.” Sophia turned around to face him, her eyes flooded with tears. “That I will never make it if I keep slacking off. But I’m not. I’m tearing my ass off twenty-four-seven, I don’t have a fucking life, Nathan!”

The end of her sentence came out as a sob, and she ran hands through her tied hair, making an effort to maintain a straight face as tears streamed down her cheeks.

“And it wasn’t even my fucking choice! She made it for me! And now she tries to take it away from me. The only thing she let me have, that fucking bitch!”

Hearing the queue, Nathan quickly approached her, pressing her body to his as she sobbed into his chest, her tears soaking through his cardigan. He held her as tight as he could, wanting to squeeze out all the pain she had bottled in for weeks.

“I have nothing else in my life, nothing,” she repeated, holding onto his arms with all her remaining strength. Nathan gently took her by the shoulders and moved Sophia away to look into her eyes. They were red, puffy, and devastatingly tired. She looked back at him in despair, waiting for him to say something.

“You have me.”

Nathan didn’t think anymore. Sophia’s tears made him say and do things without planning them first. He couldn’t bear seeing her upset and hastened to distract her, no matter what it took. So he acted on his instincts. Squeezing her shoulders slightly, taking one moment to gain the courage he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. Closing her eyes, Sophia relaxed into the kiss, not letting go of his arms. The setting sun laid its soft orange rays on their bodies, outlining them in the evening glow. Sounds of birds, leaves, and students were coming through an open window, yet all of them seemed to dissolve in the room’s air. Time moved lazily slow, almost stopping completely.

They didn’t want it to end.

***

Standing in front of the pool entrance, Sophia contemplated her decision for a hundredth time, constantly asking herself if this was a good idea and if she should leave before it wasn’t too late. The door was unlocked. The view of it made her scoff: of course, how else could it be. The school territory was empty, to no one’s surprise, it was past midnight. Sophia was sure some outlaws were up partying at someone’s dorm room. And some of them were standing outside the pool, doing nothing but thinking too much about a yes-no decision. Street lanterns shed their toxic orange light onto the ground, mixing with the moon’s subtle glow. Sophia shifted uncomfortably, hugging herself. The air was cold and cruel, sending goosebumps dancing on her skin.

“Whatever,” she whispered. “Get in, get out. No big deal.”

With this mentality, Sophia approached the door, pushing it and walking inside.

The smell of chlorine hit her nostrils. It was pitch-dark; Sophia fetched her phone to see where she was going. The sound of her steps resonated with the walls, sending an echo through the entire building. She wondered if Nathan could hear her coming. Passing through the girls’ changing room, she entered the pool itself. The turquoise water was still, its reflections played leisurely on the walls. Stopping, Sophia looked around, searching for the painfully familiar figure. It wasn’t long until she saw him: standing across the room, his hands in his pockets, his gaze somewhere down. She walked closer, hesitant to approach him. Her footsteps echoing made Nathan aware of her presence, and he snapped his head up, looking at her surprised. Silence thickened the air, as they stared at each other from the opposite sides of the pool.

“Hey,” Sophia’s voice came out too hoarse and quiet for her liking.

“You came,” Nathan stated, turning to get a better look at her.

“You’re surprised?” She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

“Why are you doing this?” He asked suddenly. His speech was fast and abrupt.

“Excuse me?”

“Somerset. Why? You hate it. All of it. Why go there?”

“Do you care?”

“You know I do.” Nathan’s voice went lower as he looked away.

“Actually, no, I don’t think I do anymore!” Sophia felt frustration growing in her chest. “You act all nice around me, then high school starts and you just fucking ghost me! Start acting like you don’t know me, avoid me, talk shit about me?”

“I’ve never talked shit about you.” His eyes return to meet hers.

“Oh wow, thanks, Nathan, how fucking nice of you.”

“If you go, you’ll regret it.”

“Jesus fu—you know what? I knew coming here was a mistake. But at least now I won’t have any difficulty forgetting you. Have a good life, Prescott.”  
Turning on her heels, Sophia walked back into the changing room, rushing to the exit. Her loud footsteps spread across the building, disturbing the silence. Reaching the door, she aggressively pushed the opening beam. To her dismay, it caused nothing, and the lock remained shut.

“No,” she mumbled pressing onto the beam again, “no, no, no. Fuck!” Sophia slammed her hands on the door, helplessly pressing her forehead against it. She was locked in.

They were.

Instantly regretting the decision to exit her room at all, she looked down at her feet, trying to think of any possible solution. The only option available seemed to be coming back to the pool.

“Fuckin—” Sophia winced and squeezed her eyes shut in frustration. Deciding there was nothing to lose anymore she slowly made her way back. Nathan, seeing her figure yet again, looked at her questionably.

“We’re locked in.” She stated. “Can you open the door?”

“Shit. No, I can’t.”  
“What?” she threw her hands in the air, “you opened it in the first place!”

“Yeah. You were supposed to leave it open.”

“You were supposed to freaking tell me!”

“I thought you’d figure.”

Letting out a growl, Sophia walked to the pool’s wall and slid down, sitting on the floor and burying her gaze in her phone. Its sharp brightness illuminated her annoyed face as she opened Facebook and started scrolling down her feed, not looking at any of the posts. Nathan sighed.

“What are you doing?”

“Waiting,” she cut off.

“For what?”

“For the school guard to open the door.”

“We’ll be here till the morning.”

“Great, I haven’t checked my news feed since yesterday.”

Nathan looked up, frustrated. His eyes searched the ceiling for some hint, yet all he saw was jiggling water reflections.

“Talk to me Soph, please.”

“Funny, I was telling you the same thing a few months ago. Guess how that turned out?”  
“Stop acting like a bitch already.”

“Oh-ho-ho,” Sophia’s eyebrows flew up as she shifted attention from her phone, fury burning in her eyes. “Look who’s talking!” She shot up and finally closed the gap between them, approaching Nathan and staring him directly in the eye. “You have completely lost your shit if you think you can treat me like I’m some annoyance to you, after asking me to come here. Is this why you called me? To get another chance to be an asshole?”

“No.”

“Then why?”

“I wanted to ask you about Somerset.”

“Bullshit!” she pointed at his chest, putting Nathan under pressure, making him look away, “you could’ve used your phone for that, instead of luring me into the pool at midnight. Why do you suddenly give a shit? Why are you suddenly so invested in my life? Why, after months of neglecting me and ignoring my existence do you think it’s okay to—”

Nathan grabbed Sophia’s hand and yanked it off. His eyebrows knitted together in rage as his gaze locked with Sophia’s, making her take a step back.

“Because I don’t want you to leave!”

***

The entire school was gossiping about Sophia for the last week. It’s been a month since Nathan Prescott has officially “unfriended” her, and everyone was out for blood, ready to say anything for the littlest sense of entertainment.

“Oh em gee, have you seen Hughes lately? She looks like a fucking Victorian ghost.”

“Uh, don’t get me started, I don’t believe this shit for one second. Anorexia my ass.”

“Imagine faking a disease for attention? Can’t relate.”

“Shh!”

And that was the queue for Sophia to enter the classroom, per usual. She looked different from middle school. Her face was pale, exhausted. Her cheekbones were horridly sharp, sticking out unnaturally from her visage. Her eyes, hollow and fatigued, surrounded by dark circles, slowly looked around the room, before she approached her desk, sinking into the chair like a rag doll.

Quickly after her, Nathan entered the room, being immediately surrounded by people who were discussing Sophia mere seconds ago. He greeted them indifferently and glanced in Sophia’s direction, catching her eyeing him back. The space between them stiffened, unspoken words lingering in the air.  Nathan was the first one to look away, rubbing his neck and sitting down. Sophia followed, burying her gaze in the surface of her desk. She always knew how these encounters would end, but the awareness never eased the pain. It was the first month since she last spoke with Nathan, and it was insufferably far from being the last.

***

“I don’t want you to leave, Sophia. You’re the only good thing this entire shithole has, the only good thing I have, without you… nothing will make sense.”

For the first time in months, Sophia saw softness in Nathan’s gaze. She crossed her arms protectively, feeling emotion already creeping on her. She examined his features she’d already forgotten after such a long pause.

“Then why did you abandon me?” Her question is quiet and not even angry, just sad and hurt. She looks at him with pain and expectation, finally granting him the benefit of the doubt.

“Because—” Nathan grabbed onto his head along with the last bits of composure, squeezing his eyes shut. His breath fastened as he started rocking his body back and forth. “Because I’m fucked up, Sophia! Okay? Everything about me is fucked up.”

“Is this your reason for shutting me off?” She interrupted him.

“You weren’t supposed to see any of it. I cut you off so I could figure my shit without getting you involved. But it got worse and worse, and I just—I couldn’t allow you near me. You don’t deserve this,” he pointed at himself, “any of this.”

“It’s not your call to make,” Sophia parried, loosening the grip on her shoulders, “the amount of time I spent questioning myself, trying to figure out what I did wrong—”

“You did nothing wrong.”

“Well, you weren’t there to tell me.”

Sorrow distorted Nathan’s expression. He narrowed his eyes, fighting back emotion, seeing Sophia’s lips shiver lightly.

“I know, I—shit—I blame myself every fucking day for this. For fucking this up and losing the only nice thing I had.”

Sophia remained silent, biting on her cheek. Nathan couldn’t tell what she was thinking, he felt exposed, put on the spot, which probably suited him right. It was a nerve-wracking feeling like the judge was about to voice the verdict, and he was the accused. He watched her face cautiously, afraid to catch any sign of distressing news.

“You still have it.”

Sophia’s voice was barely above a whisper as she said it, returning Nathan’s pained gaze. Maybe she was wrong for doing this. For giving him another chance so soon. Or at all. But this conversation, no matter how heartbreaking, was the best thing happening to Sophia in a long time. She couldn’t help but feel happy from just being able to talk to Nathan again. Yeah, she probably was stupid.

“Is there really nothing you can do to open the door?” She quickly followed up, changing the topic.

Nathan shifted in his place.

“I’m—I’ll see if someone’s up, maybe they can break us out of here.”

Sophia nodded, watching him reach for the phone into the pocket of his jacket. As he was pulling it out, she noticed something small falling to the ground and landing at her feet. Before Nathan could notice, she kneeled and picked it up. It was a photo of her.

She remembered that day clearly: she was training in the gym, and Nathan was watching her, taking pictures. He said he needed to snap some photos for his photography assignment, but something was telling Sophia he just wanted to spend time with her. Either way, she didn’t mind. She was already done dancing when she heard his camera click again.

 _What’re you doing?_ She asked him, sitting on the floor.

 _Sorry. You mind?_ He shyly lowered the camera.

 _You know I don’t. It’s just—I’m not exactly photogenic right now._ She smiled, gesturing around her.

_Wanna see?_

She nodded. The photo was surreal. Sophia’s figure was seated on the floor, her upper body bent down, reaching forward over her lifted knees. Her feet, bare, with the dance shoes lying next to them, were bruised and calloused, framed by Sophia’s hands treating them. She remembered Nathan calling it _The Cost_. It was dark but wholesome. Very much Nathan’s style.

“Oh, um—" She heard Nathan stutter, making her digress from the photo.

“You still have it,” she stated softly, astounded.

“Of course I do,” he said hesitantly. He reached his hand forward, taking the picture back from her, their fingers lightly touching in the process. Sophia sighed, rubbing her face tiredly. To think she spent most of the day not doing anything yet felt more exhausted than from any of her ballet training. Lowering herself, she sat cross-legged at the pool’s edge, watching the water shift in the dark. Nathan did the same, placing himself next to her. His phone screen caught her attention, and she glanced to the side, catching a glimpse of his contacts. Among many names of the Blackwell academy, one of them said “Freckles.” This made her smile: guess she wasn’t the only one.

“Nope. None of the assholes are answering. Guess we’re stuck here. Sorry.” He looked at her, seeing her small smile.

“Freckles?” She asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Oh. I—I forgot to change it, it’s—I can—”

“Whatever. I didn’t change you either.”

Silence fell on them again, leaving the pool to be the only source of background sounds. It wasn’t awkward anymore; if anything, it felt relaxing to finally sit there quietly in each other’s presence. Like the old times. Sophia would lie if she said she didn’t miss this. Without Nathan in her life, silences became insufferable, but in his company, they were calming. She could spend hours just sitting there, doing nothing if Nathan was beside her. Water reflections danced on their bodies, turning them and the entire room pale-blue. It almost felt like some otherworldly place, away from Earth.

She glanced at Nathan: he looked nervous; she could tell he wasn’t as relaxed as she was, but it was fair, considering he was the one at fault. She eyed him up and down, noticing that his leg was shaking lightly. He really got worse from middle school: his ticks severed, he became fidgety and snappy. Sophia could only imagine the amount of pressure he was under. His dad was probably giving him hell every day. Watching him tremble, she decided to fill the silence with talking.

“So,” she began, uncertain of how to phrase the sentence, “what’s going on with this, “she gestured between them, “us.”

“We’re friends,” he answered, although it sounded more like a question as if he was unsure of his own words. Sophia pursed her lips, looking at her reflection in the water. If they already were going through all the highs and lows of their relationship, she could as well add to the discussion. Not looking up, she muttered it out, quick enough not to change her mind:

“Aren’t we more than that?”

There was silence again, and Sophia wasn’t sure if Nathan was silent because he didn’t understand what she meant or because he did. She fought herself over stopping the thought now or proceeding and seeing where it would go. She ended up thinking she’s already said A, might as well say B.

“We kissed. Last year of middle school.”

She waited again and, receiving no answer still, proceeded.

“At the gym.”

“I remember,” Nathan interrupted her description.

“What was it?” She finally looked at him, gaining up the courage.

“A kiss,” he said shortly, still avoiding her gaze.

“Nathan, I swear to god,” Sophia rolled her eyes, “you know what I mean.”

“I don’t know, okay? It just—sort of happened.”

“You never mentioned it after that. Then summer came, and you disappeared.”

“I didn’t want to ruin what we had.” Sophia gazed at Nathan skeptically, quirking a brow, forcing a groan out of him. “Not in that way. I was afraid it would ruin our friendship.”

“First of all, ironic, second... why?”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“Say what?” She furrowed her brows in confusion. Nathan closed his eyes and turned his head away completely, hiding his face.

“That I love you.”

Sophia froze in her place, starring at the back of Nathan’s head, his words echoing in her mind. He turned his head back, still looking at the pool.

“I don’t wanna say it.”

She looked at the pool too, as if there was something that grabbed their attention from each other. Seeing Nathan’s reflection, she looked at him, noticing he was looking back at her through the water.

“You just did.”

Perhaps it was easier, looking at each other’s reflections instead of facing reality because Sophia’s heart was pounding with merciless force. It was everything she could hear in her head: the thumps of her heart and Nathan’s confession, smashing together into a big mess that sent Sophia into a hazy trance.

“I can take it back,” Nathan rasped. His leg was shaking furiously now, sending his entire body in motion.

“Don’t.”

Sophia’s voice, like a triggering alarm, distracted them from the water surface and brought their gazes together. Their eyes shared terror, it intertwined somewhere in the middle, making their bodies tense, yet being the common ground for them to stand on. Sophia couldn’t tell if she was still breathing or not, her mind seemed to separate from her body, taking off and wandering around the room, merging with the water glimpses that kept dancing on the walls.

Their bodies, like magnets, slowly gravitated toward each other, shortening the distance until there was none. Nathan smelled of cologne and cigarettes, she smelled of lavender and sedatives. They balanced on an edge, not being able to move or breathe any longer, just rooted to their spots, insanely close, contemplating the last millimeter that held them apart. Then, like going down a slide, their lips pressed together, and the ball of tension exploded, returning the air into their lungs and the sense of control over their muscles. Sophia’s arms entwined around Nathan’s neck, she pressed her body to his, shifting the weight on him, willing to give herself to him entirely. Nathan’s arms accepted her with passion, locking behind her, pulling her in his direction. The motions of their bodies made them lose their balance and sent them into the pool. A loud splash emerged into the quiet air, disturbing the room’s silence. The gleaming reflections broke loose and began to shake vigorously, setting the entire place in motion.

All the noise around them turned into a vacuum as their bodies floated below the surface. Pushed back up, they gasped for air shortly before their lips collapsed again, with a bigger force. Nathan lifted Sophia up, resting her on top of him while her hands found his cheeks, grasping them to hold him close. Nathan held her body tightly against his, as if afraid of her moving away. Sophia lifted her lips from his ever so lightly, just to be able to whisper her pleads into them.

“I don’t want to leave,” she sobbed voicelessly, hiding her face in the crook of his neck, “I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to leave.”

“Stay,” he replied shakily, kissing her ear. She lifted her head and looked Nathan in the eyes, furiously shaking her head in agreement. Tears streamed down her cheeks, mixing with pool water.

“I love you, I love you,” she choked on her cries, kissing Nathan again, eager, desperate, forcing the entirety of her emotions down on Nathan’s shoulders. He accepted it gladly, happily, holding her close and swearing on the entire world to never leave her again. To never let go.

***

The aftermath wasn’t as fun after the heat of the moment passed. Seated on the floor in some towels they found in the changing rooms, their bodies shook from cold, as they leaned against each other seeking warmth.

“I don’t know what I will say to my mom,” Sophia said, chuckling, “she’ll probably beat the shit out of me.”

“I won’t let her,” Nathan replied, “I’ll call my lawyer and make her stay the fuck away from you.”

“Aw,” she cooed, “I wouldn’t normally find your rich talk adorable, but it’s very nice of you.”

Her smile then faded, which caught Nathan’s attention. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, distracting her from her thoughts.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just—” she played with the hem of her towel anxiously, “maybe it’s not her who needs to stay away. Maybe it’s us.”

“What do you mean?”

She turned to face him and grabbed his hands in hers, suddenly determined.

“Let’s run away.”

He looked at her startled as if trying to be sure he understood her correctly. “Huh?”

“Fuck this place. Fuck Arcadia Bay. Fuck Blackwell. Fuck Somerset. Fuck all these people, two-faced snobs, and dirty junkies. Fuck our parents. Fuck everything.”

She moved her hands away, looking at him hesitantly, afraid of his reaction. Would he disagree? Would he get angry with her for saying something so radical? Would he refuse her and her offer? Sophia felt the time drag painfully slow as she watched Nathan’s face for any sign of emotion, anything that would let her know what he thought.

Growing anxious, she averted her gaze.

“You know what—”

“Fuck everything.”

Her head jerked back, meeting with Nathan’s determined gaze. Staring back at her, he nodded, smiling devilishly. “Fuck everything!”

Seeing his reaction, Sophia started laughing, connecting their hands back together. The relief ran through her body, lifting the tension of her shoulders.

“Fuck everything,” she echoed after him.

Nathan leaned in, kissing Sophia, feeling her smiling against his lips. The smell of chlorine, usually irritating, brought him a sense of joy he’s grown so unfamiliar with. He could sit there forever, on the cold floor tiles, wearing damp clothes, freezing, yet feeling growing warmth starting from Sophia’s lips and transferring to his, spreading through his body.

Nathan’s phone rang, breaking the moment. Groaning in irritation, he pulled away from Sophia, checking the new messages.

“Victoria answered,” he said, typing, “she called the guys to break us out.”

Sophia smiled, pulling the towel off her shoulders. “Cool. Can’t wait to change.”

“Tell me about it,” Nathan chuckled, getting up and offering her a hand. She rolled her eyes, accepting it.

“Although,” not letting go of his hand after standing up she brought her face close to his, “I am glad we got locked up.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

“What will Victoria say about—this?” she squeezed Nathan’s hand firmly.

“I don’t care. Why?”

“I kind of thought you were a thing. She was always around you.”

“What? No, we’re just friends. Wait,” he looked at her slyly, “you thought we were together and still kissed me?”

“ _You_ kissed _me_ ,” Sophia countered.

“Keep telling yourself that.”

Their dialogue got interrupted by loud noises piercing the air.

“That’s our queue. Let’s get out of here,” Nathan said, walking in the exit’s direction. Sophia lingered in spot, looking at Nathan’s back. He suddenly stopped, looking back at her.

“Soph?”

She raised her eyebrows in question.

“Did you mean it? Running away?”

“I did, “she said firmly. “Did you?”

He nodded.

“Good,” she smiled.

Nathan smiled back at her. He looked calmer, steadier. Reassured.

“C’mon,” he said after staying silent for a moment, “or you want to spend the night in the pool?”

Sophia rolled her eyes, catching up to him.

“Maybe another time.”


End file.
